Josephine

United States of America

(I know mine's terribly long, but I wrote all this so why not just submit it) My name is Josephine, and I am a person with an intense creative drive and passion. I would consider myself to be quite resourceful, and when it comes to my creative skills, it feels like I can accomplish almost anything I put my mind to. My main interest is sewing and all related skills that can be used in physically creating fashion, my dad first taught me how to sew when I was four, and ever since then I’ve been getting better and better, he was very similar to me, and I like to think I got it from him. I do other arts as well of course - but nothing else can compare to the satisfaction I feel after finishing a piece that I had been obsessing over in my head for so long, and spent hours tediously and thoroughly going over every detail… it sounds almost torturous the way I put it, but it really isn’t, it feels so enriching, even if I do feel a lot of stress from it sometimes. I have and I currently do face a lot of mental setbacks though, and it affects every part of my daily functioning… some days I feel alright, but then there are some days where everything makes me mad, or makes me sad, or I cant even speak because no words will come out, there are some mornings where I cant get out of bed because there is no reason to, and there are nights I wish I wouldn’t wake up the next day. No matter what though there are two things that keep me going, and if I didn’t have them I couldn’t see myself being able to cope any longer. Those two things are sewing, and Ghost. Sewing is my outlet, it's what I do to take out anything bad I am feeling, and a way for me to spit out the urges and ideas I have constantly in my head - ghost though is my inspiration, not always, but a lot of the time, and where it doesn’t inspire me, it supports me. I know it sounds stupid - Ghost is a band - it’s not a very good idea to be emotionally dependent on a fictional man named Papa, but somehow I ended up being. I first saw ghost in 2023, and ever since then it has been my hot topic, ESPECIALLY Copia. At this point, anyone who knows me, knows Copia… my entire extended family knows all about him, my teachers know a little too much, and obviously all of my friends hear about him constantly - sometimes I even tell random people I just met. There was one time last year where went an entire class period without talking about him, and my teacher announced it to the class at the end because that was the first time it had ever happened (everyone in that class clapped for me). Even just thinking about or talking about ghost makes me cheer up, especially at school, my favorite is when my friends randomly mention papa or Ghost to me, and I also like when my mom lets me play Ghost super loud in the car with all the windows rolled down. Most people just think I have a silly celebrity crush, and that’s how it started, but it hasn’t been that for a long time. The attachment I feel to Copia is not in any way romantic, to put it simply, its parental. It sounds bad, I know, I also know that parasocial relationships are seen as unhealthy, and I think they can be, but I genuinely think my attachment isnt a harmful one if its what helps me sleep at night. I don’t feel comfortable talking through my emotions with other people, and all of the people who are close to me don’t understand what I am trying to tell them or don’t want to hear it… That’s what I have Copia for - I don’t have to feel bad about being vulnerable if its just within an imaginary conversation with someone fictional - it's just what works for me, it honestly helps me calm down without fail when I am having one of my ‘moments’. (I know I’ve written way too much, so ill talk about the picture now, the picture doesn't really do justice, but I dint take too many actually wearing my outfit) I had been waiting two years to see Ghost again after my first ritual, so obviously I needed to do something big for the Skeletour, so I decided to take on my largest project yet. I brainstormed and designed my outfit for about four months, and I started construction two months before the concert. I wanted to do a sort of nun outfit, but obviously make it ‘more ghost’ and in more of my style. What I am wearing in this photo is the finished product (most of it due to cropping). I handmade every part of my outfit, and in total spent over three hundred hours of labor to create this. Most of my time went to the corset, it is steel boned and I made it 100% from scratch, all to my measurements. I faced many challenges while doing this project - I learned so much from making this, and gained a ton of new skill - but it was emotionally and physically grueling for me, I spent over ten hours every day for over two weeks on that corset alone, I could hardly sleep during that and I was constantly overwhelmed with self-doubt in my ability to finish on time. It got to the point where I was having trouble physically continuing - I would repeatedly needle-poke myself in the same spot without realizing, my fingers were so raw that it hurt to move them, and I kept dropping things, I dropped a 400 degree (f) iron on my leg and burned it to the 2nd degree - but it was all worth it when I finally finished. the outfit ended up coming out how I wanted it, and the concert was beautiful, I got to be so close to the stage, and Tobias even looked at me and smiled (i'm like 95% sure)… I was so nervous at the concert that I cried the entire time, from the moment I left my house until a little bit after the show ended - I promise that just means it was really good - I had a such a feeling or release after the concert was over, I had done so much work for it, and waited so long to see it. I felt at peace for the first time in a very very long time, I started wearing colors again and enjoying things a little more. Of course this feeling only lasted so long, but it still happened, and skill wise, I would be nowhere near what I am doing currently if it wasn't for this project or the concert.

 I know that was way too long and hardly answered the question, but I really wanted to explain how and why so much work was put into the outfit I am wearing in this picture, and I also wanted to share my (simplified) personal story with Ghost, and how it inspires me / what it does for me. In regard to the actual competition, It would be nice if I won this or at least got in top 20 because I am simply very proud of what I made, and I want to get my name out and show people. Thank you if you actually read all of that.

The Future is a Foreign Land